A Not-meant-to-be Relationship Reviewed

Family and friends are very concerned for my choice of a life partner.
As if I can't make a decision myself on the choice of partner I want to have for life.
Just because I have made some mistakes along the way in my past relationship, it doesn't mean I can't decide what is best for myself now.

I always dream of having a lovely partner to build a lovely family with lots of children where love abounds and building our dreams together. In the midst of my search for a partner in my early years, my parents have some deciding factors imparted to me. My parents always say that to find a good husband, he must have a pleasant look, importantly to have a stable job and income, good education, and non unhealthy activities such as smoking, clubbing, gambling, womanising to name a few. I took their advise literally and started my search whom one I have found to suit their criterias. I pursued the relationship and wanted so much to have my own family without knowing what other things I should look into a partner before marrying the man. Gone into a relationship for 5 years and decided if he is not agreeing to marriage, I want to end the relationship. After registered for marriage for almost reaching a year, both family has been asking for a wedding ceremony but its not happening. Reasons given to me from my partner was:
1. No money, how to have a wedding ceremony?
2. I have not married before, how do I know how to do a wedding ceremony?
I was being patient and able to reply that we can tackle the matter step by step. I'm sure having a wedding ceremony won't cost that much as family and friends will contribute with gifts and money offerings to cover the banquet. If we don't know how to do it, we can always seek others who have done it for advise.

I must say its a very painful experience for me. Later, I found out that its not because of money as his father is willing to fund the whole wedding ceremony. There must be some reasons yet he is not telling me exactly. Finally, I decided to call it quit and he said a simple word "OK". My heart sank and cried. I felt like a liability to him instead of an asset, cos he said this to me:"I feel I have spend so much money on you, why should I still buy you a gift on your birthday?"; when I asked on why he has not bought the perfume I asked him to for my birthday.

He has never abused me physically but verbally. It is those words that he said to me were like double-edged sword cutting through my heart. Finally, I've come to a point to accept that there's nothing wrong with him or me, we are just not meant for each other. I chose to think this way cos I don't wish to blame him or myself for this to happen.

We can annul the registered marriage within a year but he said he wanted to try to reconcile the marriage and he also asked is it because I'm feeling ashamed to divorce? I told him what is there to be ashamed of to divorce and I have not done anything wrong to be ashamed of. I said I will give him time to reconcile the relationship as he promised my father to do so. But he has done nothing in the year and when I asked why he has not initaite any activity to salvage the relationship as he promised my father, he said he wanted to do so but his heart not want to.

My parents have lots to say about who to blame and not to blame in my failed registered marriage.
Is it a stigma to divorce?
Perhaps to my parents is Yes!

It has been 4 years since we separated and he has finally filed for the paper to officiate the divorce this year. We discussed about this matter and he hope I will not ask him for anything. I said I want nothing from him but to be freed from this registered marriage only.

I can't say I have wasted my time with him, I will rather say I have gained alot to know what to look for in my future relationship. I just pray that my parents will give me the liberty to believe that I can choose better this time. :-)